I feel compelled to once again interrupt the Embarrassing Moments Logbook to write about something a bit more serious. Not because I am running out of material... No, be assured that cringe-worthy moments of note happen on the regular around here. Perhaps I am just feeling a bit more contemplative lately.
But today I want to talk about miracles. Actually, just one. One that happened to me. And I keep feeling that I need to record it, as a way to publicly acknowledge my appreciation to God.
It happened in Israel, which seems appropriate.
We had a trip-of-a-lifetime experience visiting Israel, Jordan and Egypt this summer. I have talked about it non-stop ever since, and continue to spam friends on social media with What I Did On My Summer Vacation anecdotes.
While in Israel, we had the opportunity to visit many sites of the Savior’s miracles, as recorded in scripture. The Sea of Galilee. Capernaum. The Pool of Bethesda. Magdala. Jerusalem. But while following the Savior's footsteps, I had the blessing to experience my own personal miracle. Because He continues to be a God of Miracles.
But first I need to back up a bit, and give a little context.
We paid the down payment for our trip to Israel over a year before our trip. Before I was needing supplemental oxygen. Before I realized just how stubbornly my long hauler symptoms would hang on, and the havoc they would wreak as I tried to physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally straddle the vast gap between “What I want to be doing” and “What I can actually do”. The trip was then pushed off from December to June, and it imperceptibly became my light at the end of the tunnel, my reason to battle.
The trip was partially funded through a generous gift from my late maternal Grandmother Mona. Years ago, she and my grandfather paid for several groups to visit the Holy Land, including my mom and her siblings & spouses, and also a group of widows. My paternal Grandma Hazel was included in that latter trip, and it changed her life. So this trip was a link to my deceased Mom, and my deceased grandparents, and it represented so much more than a vacation to me.
About 2 months before our trip, I was listening to a conference of my church, and Pres. Russell M. Nelson, said the following: "Do the spiritual work to seek miracles. Prayerfully ask God to help you exercise that kind of faith. I promise that you can experience for yourself that Jesus Christ "giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.""
His words spoke to me and his invitation moved me. I was definitely "the faint", and I needed power and strength, very literally. And I knew immediately what Miracle I would seek.
Israel.
Not only making it there, but being able to participate in the rigors of the tour and not miss out on any of this once-in-a-lifetime experience. So that became my Big Ask, and my daily prayer. In a way, it seemed slightly selfish. Like perhaps the miracle I should ask for should be more altruistic and have something to do with World Peace. But Israel was important to me, and I sensed God knew that.
I know that seeking miracles isn't a passive act. It means doing everything in our power to move towards that goal. So as the trip neared, I gradually increased my walking by small amounts, learning if I pushed too much and too hard, I fell backwards. Two weeks before our trip, I was able to walk 2 miles without stopping. It was a route Chad and I used to do 3-5x per week, prior to me getting sick. And this was the first time I'd been able to do it since. After building up, a bit at a time, I finally made that 2 mile loop, although the last ¼ mile I staggered and swayed like a drunken soldier, tears running down my face and dripping off my chin. I walked it two more times before our trip (without tears).
I then packed collapsible hiking poles in my suitcase, and got on a plane.
But once I got to Israel, I found the trip was much more rigorous than I had anticipated. The days were long, packed full, with very little down time (aka "rest time"). We were always going hard, and almost constantly walking. One day my girls measured that we’d walked more than 9 miles.
And I got my miracle.
I walked. I saw. I conquered.
There were a few exceptions; a few things I had to miss out on, like hiking to the top of Mt Sinai, climbing the Temple Mount ramparts, and the 3 am hot air balloon ride over Luxor. But I was able to participate in almost everything, and had such an amazing experience that I continue to torment the world by talking about it months later. I'm like an MLM rep for Israeli Tourism, building my downline. ("If I get three people, and they each get three people....")
While we had the chance to visit many cool ancient churches, in fact, some of the oldest Christian churches in the world, one of the most emotional and spiritual moments of the trip for me was in a beautiful new church in Magdala. It was dedicated to the women who ministered to Jesus Christ. In was near the banks of the Sea of Galilee. The chapel had a huge window overlooking the Sea of Galilee, and then a large boat similar in style to those of the Savior's time. The rostrum was in the boat. So the priest would actually stand in the boat and preach, much like Jesus. (See pic.) It was very cool.
The church also had a beautiful atrium with pillars, on which there were female saints' names. But one was left blank, representing the opportunity each of us have to be Jesus Christ's disciple. Kind of a fill-in-your-name-here type of thing. I loved it.
But the room that had me standing, sobbing, was downstairs. It was empty except for a small sacrament table and a large mural -- a close up of the woman with the issue of blood reaching out and touching the hem of the Savior's robe. The stones of the room matched the paving stones of the picture. It was beautiful. (Again, see pic below.) That story, the Healing of the Woman With The Issue of Blood, has become so meaningful to me. (See this post, where I talk about it takeaways from it.)
And here I was, having been granted healing enough that I could be there in the Holy Land, partaking of these soul-growing experiences. So I stood there and sobbed my little heart out. Then went directly to the gift store and purchased the print of the mural, which now hangs in my home's front entrance.
I find it interesting that among all of the many awe-inspiring places we visited, I felt the Savior's love most powerfully and recognized the gift of his healing in Magdala. A place recognized for a woman's SPIRITUAL and MENTAL and EMOTIONAL healing. And at a place highlighting and commemorating the Savior's relationship with his female followers.
I once again cried on the last evening of our trip. This time it was on a hotel patio in Cairo. I was just having A Moment, realizing what I had been given by a loving God. I was just so overwhelmed with gratitude for my little personal miracle.
There's simply no way I could have gone at that pace, for 18 days, without His help.
But miracles are crafted lovingly by God, not by our own personal shopping cart order form. Because I was able to do so much on the trip, I came home with the expectation that I could just build from there.
Unfortunately, it hasn’t been quite that easy. I had a bit of a backslide, and just recently had the worst long hauler crash I've had since last spring. Obviously, I still can't overdo things. Yet I "overdid" every day of this trip. For 18 days.
I've had some people say, "Oh, but you were doing fun things! That's motivation to push yourself." But unfortunately, I miss out on fun things all the time, when I experience a crash.
My health dipping down a bit once I returned home could be due to many different factors. Altitude surely plays a role.
But the regression has also been a humbling reminder how incredible it is that I was able to have my Holy Land experience. I got my miracle. And I praise God for it.
“I will praise thee, O Lord, with my whole heart: I will shew forth all thy marvellous works. I will be glad and rejoice in thee: I will sing praise to thy name, O thou most high.” (Psalms 9:1-2)
"Blessed be the Lord, because he hath heard the voice of my supplications. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth: and with my song will I praise him." (Psalms 28:6-7)
"It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect. Thou has enlarged my steps under me, that my feet did not slip." (Psalms 18:32, 36)
"But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. I will sing unto the Lord, because he hath dealt bountifully with me." (Psalms 13:5)
(Can I get a SELAH??!!)
